REBERU APU!
Or
You have earned a skill point!
Or
You have earned a skill point!
As I write this, it's - what the heck, you can read the time stamp, right?
It's raining now. Half an hour ago, I came home via cab and was greeted by my older brother, who informed me of some interesting new sleeping and bed arrangements. I shrugged, and murmured my assent my family was sleeping soundly, and I had no wish to wake them up.
That was my intent.
Turns out that my Mom, and surprisingly Dad, was also awake at this unholy hour. Dad had a request for me - immediately my weird sensors started tingling. A favor, at just a few minutes around midnight?
I have always tried to be an obedient son. I know that my education levels leave a lot to be desired and I know that it's a constant source of angst - can sexagenarians still angst about anything? - and so I resolved that whatever his request may be, it can't be as hard as getting a thesis paper approved and published, so I'm going to do it.
My old man needed help catching hen that was roosting on one of the trees in front of the house.
I daresay that it was the most unexpected thing that my old man would need my help on, and it sure beats writing a thesis hands down. I did tell him one thing though: "I've never tried to catch livestock at night before, can't we do it at daybreak instead, or when there's light enough for me to see the bird?"
My dad looked at me like I had grown a second head on my shoulders. I belatedly realized that if I could see the bird on the tree's branches, it sure as heaven could see me. D'oh! I blame the hour for it.
Essentially, I was able to act out my Metal Gear / Snake-wannabe fantasies. After changing into my "Stealth Suit" AKA my usual sleepwear of sleeveless shirt and comfy trousers I hunted for a pair of rubber slippers - I am not about to go sneaking around in the darkness of our front yard without footwear - and tried to open the gate as quietly as I could. The gate, not having been oiled recently, groaned and shuddered like a haunted mansion prop.
For this operation Dad was acting as the spotter. He had a powerful flashlight with which he pointed out, well, maybe illuminated would be the better word, my objective. The hen was roosting on one of the branches of the bilimbi (Averrhoa bilimbi) - that's kamias for all the Tagalog-speakers and Filipinos out there - a bit more than six feet above the ground. Get some elevation, stay silent, and grab the sleeping bird. I'm a healthy, gout-free young man, so it should be a piece of cake, right?
The hen of course had to awaken at the sound of the gate and got distressed at the sound of impending capture. It didn't help that my Dad, with unerring accuracy, managed to get the bird right in the eye every single time with his flashlight beams - a holdover no doubt from his more active days, when he and his Forest Management Bureau colleagues teamed up with the then Presidential Anti-Crime Commission to raid illegal logging operations and sawmills.
The bird did the smart thing and moved to a higher branch.
I was having none of it, however. I wanted to rest, I was starting to get hunger pangs - seriously, I have this weird fast metabolism - and so I asked Dad to keep illuminating the target, and not to flash beams at it - while I circled the base of the tree and looked for a way up. Thank goodness the bird wasn't looking down, so I was able to get underneath it and nab one of its legs. A few seconds of avian struggle and it was over.
"Target acquired," I joked to my dad, trying to sound as mechanical as possible. "Mission Accomplished."
During the Intermission, I handed the bird over to Mom while Dad fished around for a length of string to tie hen with. I asked, "Why didn't you tie it up in the first place?"
"We did tie it up. Unfortunately, your cousin's son untied it..."
"The kid was under no supervision? Then they should have tethered him," I wanted to say, in hindsight.
My folks are asleep again, and I'm still hungry time for another pancake. Excuse me.
I decided to go against pancakes and horked the bottle of sweetened pili nuts instead. Sweet!!
Now for some RPG-related claptrap:
You learn a new feat: Improved Nocturnal Grapple (Animal)
Prerequisites
Dex 13, Improved Unarmed Strike.
Benefit
You do not provoke an attack of opportunity (or an escape attempt) when you make a touch attack to start a grapple against an animal smaller than you in low-lighting conditions. You also gain a +4 bonus on all grapple checks vs. animals smaller than you in low-lighting conditions, regardless of whether you started the grapple.
Normal
Without this feat, you provoke an attack of opportunity (or an escape attempt) from the animal when you make a touch attack to start a grapple. Going over to pet it, heck even thinking of touching the little critter will make your intentions known and want it to be not where you could see it.
Special
This feat does not allow you to grapple animals in total darkness unless you have the Blind Fighting feat.
Note that humans are animals, and even an centimeter over your target will allow you to use this feat against him/her.
It's raining now. Half an hour ago, I came home via cab and was greeted by my older brother, who informed me of some interesting new sleeping and bed arrangements. I shrugged, and murmured my assent my family was sleeping soundly, and I had no wish to wake them up.
That was my intent.
Turns out that my Mom, and surprisingly Dad, was also awake at this unholy hour. Dad had a request for me - immediately my weird sensors started tingling. A favor, at just a few minutes around midnight?
I have always tried to be an obedient son. I know that my education levels leave a lot to be desired and I know that it's a constant source of angst - can sexagenarians still angst about anything? - and so I resolved that whatever his request may be, it can't be as hard as getting a thesis paper approved and published, so I'm going to do it.
My old man needed help catching hen that was roosting on one of the trees in front of the house.
I daresay that it was the most unexpected thing that my old man would need my help on, and it sure beats writing a thesis hands down. I did tell him one thing though: "I've never tried to catch livestock at night before, can't we do it at daybreak instead, or when there's light enough for me to see the bird?"
My dad looked at me like I had grown a second head on my shoulders. I belatedly realized that if I could see the bird on the tree's branches, it sure as heaven could see me. D'oh! I blame the hour for it.
Essentially, I was able to act out my Metal Gear / Snake-wannabe fantasies. After changing into my "Stealth Suit" AKA my usual sleepwear of sleeveless shirt and comfy trousers I hunted for a pair of rubber slippers - I am not about to go sneaking around in the darkness of our front yard without footwear - and tried to open the gate as quietly as I could. The gate, not having been oiled recently, groaned and shuddered like a haunted mansion prop.
For this operation Dad was acting as the spotter. He had a powerful flashlight with which he pointed out, well, maybe illuminated would be the better word, my objective. The hen was roosting on one of the branches of the bilimbi (Averrhoa bilimbi) - that's kamias for all the Tagalog-speakers and Filipinos out there - a bit more than six feet above the ground. Get some elevation, stay silent, and grab the sleeping bird. I'm a healthy, gout-free young man, so it should be a piece of cake, right?
The hen of course had to awaken at the sound of the gate and got distressed at the sound of impending capture. It didn't help that my Dad, with unerring accuracy, managed to get the bird right in the eye every single time with his flashlight beams - a holdover no doubt from his more active days, when he and his Forest Management Bureau colleagues teamed up with the then Presidential Anti-Crime Commission to raid illegal logging operations and sawmills.
The bird did the smart thing and moved to a higher branch.
I was having none of it, however. I wanted to rest, I was starting to get hunger pangs - seriously, I have this weird fast metabolism - and so I asked Dad to keep illuminating the target, and not to flash beams at it - while I circled the base of the tree and looked for a way up. Thank goodness the bird wasn't looking down, so I was able to get underneath it and nab one of its legs. A few seconds of avian struggle and it was over.
"Target acquired," I joked to my dad, trying to sound as mechanical as possible. "Mission Accomplished."
During the Intermission, I handed the bird over to Mom while Dad fished around for a length of string to tie hen with. I asked, "Why didn't you tie it up in the first place?"
"We did tie it up. Unfortunately, your cousin's son untied it..."
"The kid was under no supervision? Then they should have tethered him," I wanted to say, in hindsight.
My folks are asleep again, and I'm still hungry time for another pancake. Excuse me.
I decided to go against pancakes and horked the bottle of sweetened pili nuts instead. Sweet!!
Now for some RPG-related claptrap:
You learn a new feat: Improved Nocturnal Grapple (Animal)
Prerequisites
Dex 13, Improved Unarmed Strike.
Benefit
You do not provoke an attack of opportunity (or an escape attempt) when you make a touch attack to start a grapple against an animal smaller than you in low-lighting conditions. You also gain a +4 bonus on all grapple checks vs. animals smaller than you in low-lighting conditions, regardless of whether you started the grapple.
Normal
Without this feat, you provoke an attack of opportunity (or an escape attempt) from the animal when you make a touch attack to start a grapple. Going over to pet it, heck even thinking of touching the little critter will make your intentions known and want it to be not where you could see it.
Special
This feat does not allow you to grapple animals in total darkness unless you have the Blind Fighting feat.
Note that humans are animals, and even an centimeter over your target will allow you to use this feat against him/her.
