Or
"I Can't Believe This Mishmash Actually Worked!"
Saturday, January 28, 2012.
Begin report:
I went into the deck building phase, mentally reciting how I remembered the BREAD mantra: Bombs/Rares, Elimination/Evasion, Attackers/Advantage, Defense/Dudes. Opening three packs of Innistrad made me think I should be creating a white-green deck, loaded with white humans and green monsters, going all-out creature offense. Never mind evasion - I'll just power my way through with green monsters and werewolves if the white weenies get sandbagged.
That's what I was thinking, until I opened the Dark Ascension packs. One pack gave me Stormkirk Captain. The second gave me Falkenrath Aristocrat. I suddenly had a flashback (pun intended, to those who get it) to my Magic 2012 pre-release, where I let myself go with my instincts and built my deck around a mythic rare. I went 3-1 in that event, which was spectacular in my book. I decided to see if my instincts would serve me well in this tournament as well.
Here's what I used, going into four matches of Sealed Deck. I'll list the spells first, then the creatures, in alphabetical order. As always, there will be commentary, but no links or images - I'll save that when I'm writing for www.magicthegathering.com's Crazy Deck Experiments column, which doesn't exist.
Enough of my wildest dreams. Without further ado, the cards:
SPELLS
Ancient Grudge - In a pre-release Sealed Deck match, there's always the chance that your opponent will be packing an artifact, whether it be a mana producer or some equipment for his creatures to better kick your ass with, and in rare cases an honest-to-goodness artifact creature. Ancient Grudge is an instant answer to said problems, and in this deck's case, is not a dead card in hand even when the opponent is not packing artifacts. See the other spells for why.
Corpse Lunge - Take any elimination spells you can get, in the colors you've decided. So says the BREAD.
Dead Weight - See above. It might not do much against huge creatures, but it does take care of pesky things like those vigilance+first strike+protection from monsters inquisitor dudes that will be problematic for your army to handle.
Faithless Looting - A red card-drawing spell?! Madness!!! Why, this might actually enable Corpse Lunge! Or, turn Ancient Grudge into something useful against a no-artifact opponent! It even comes with flashback! Beware, excess lands, for you are safe no more! Bwahahahaha!
I actually used it for those purposes I mentioned. True story, bro.
Fling - I had a Fling in this tournament. That is not to say I had a very brief affair with an attractive member of the opposite sex, but that I had a spell that allowed you to throw one of your creatures at a target for damage. The dream was to Fling one of your creatures at a target to enable a follow-up Corpse Lunge. Sadly, the one time I got to use Fling in the entire tournament was to chuck an undying vampire stalker (sparkles not included) at an opponent to finish him off, which when I think about it isn't really sad after all.
Fires of Undeath - I'll break my no-links/images rules this once. Click here. Now, raise your hand if, like me, you noticed the white-haired female figure, her white veil, her black gothic lolita outfit, and lastly the eerie green flames in her hand, in that order. It's alright, lads, it's okay to appreciate gothic lolita dresses on pale-skinned female vampires that want to incinerate you for staring too much.
Ahem. Back to the card analysis commentary. Rule of BREAD states that this card is worth gold, because with a single card and enough mana you can get rid of two creatures, or deal four damage to the opponent with just the same card. That's Elimination and Advantage right here.
Shattered Perceptions - Let's face it, we've all had those games where we wished we could just get rid of our current cards in hand and draw a new set. Heck, we'd even settle for drawing one less, just as long as we could draw something potentially useful right? We've all had days when we had six lands on the board, with the only thing keeping the opponent's dude army (Magic slang for 2/2 creatures and smaller) from rushing into the red zone (Magic slang for your face AKA your life total) for massive damage was three slightly bigger creatures, six untapped mana, and couple of cards in hand - which your opponent didn't know was just a couple of basic lands.
I was in such a situation in one of the pre-release games, where my opponent was making a 2/2 zombie every other turn, while I was drawing nothing but land for the next three turns. When he decided to attack he had something like 11 power worth of creatures, and I only had three blockers and was sitting at 8 life, after the attack I was down to three. That was his turn, after I had cast Shattered Perceptions from the graveyard and discarded five basic lands.
I proceeded to turn the game around the next turn with the four creatures and one Mountain I drew from Shattered Perceptions, and I actually won that match 2-0.
The kicker? I actually discarded Shattered Perceptions and a Mountain earlier in the match to a Faithless Looting. Funny how they came back later and paved the way to victory.
Warden of the Wall - Following rule of BREAD, this guy falls squarely in the D category - Defense. Looking at the card previews, people actually put this guy in category D for Dregs, and it's easy to see why - 2/3 power/toughness, can't attack, produces colorless mana, can't be sacrificed for your nefarious plans on your turn. In the right deck though, such as mine, a card which pulls double duty as an expendable meat shield against a big attacker with no trample, and as a mana acceleration item, is very valuable.
My deck only gets rolling on turn 3, which is slower than most decks I create in Sealed Deck pre-releases. You can't even properly call it a control deck, because my goal is not to deny the opponent any useful moves. It's a haphazard slow deck that wants to survive until it can comfortably pull off a winning trick or two - I guess I'd call it a half-assed combo deck. Perhaps an 'engine' deck would be a better term, as the deck won by exploiting and supporting certain creatures as they came up during the course of play.
The Warden performed admirably when he came out, scaring small attackers away and providing one more point of mana when I needed to bring an overcosted blocker out, and finally ending his service by blocking something like a 4/4 wolf.
TL;DR? Slow decks need meat shields to take the bullet at a crucial point, and mana acceleration to pull out a defensive stop at the right time. Warden does both. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
CREATURES
Abbatoir Ghoul - This zombie butcher saved my hide more times than I could count. The combination of first strike, 3 power, and not-quite-lifelink was enough to stop land battles then and there, allowing me precious time to develop my plans. This zombie was part of the three-strong defensive team I had in the Shattered Perceptions story above.
Charmbreaker Devils - Bomb and Rare. These devils allowed me to recycle Corpse Lunge and Fires of Undeath, netted me a lot of cards with the repeated use of Faithless Looting - needless to say, when they hit the table, they provoked a reaction from my opponent. Typical reaction was to pick the card up, read it, put the card down and wince as I eagerly showed them the Fires of Undeath (as well as my other instants and sorceries) I had played earlier. This card and Pyreheart Wolf below gave me a memorable victory.
Chosen of Markov - Gee, a human, a young female if we're to believe the card art, that can transform with the aid of a vampire. I wonder what she'll transform into? Alright, I might as well chuck my no links & images rule for now. Click here to find the answer.
Crossway Vampire - In all pre-releases I've joined, there are always some creatures that never see the light of day, or hit the battlefield and mix it up with the enemies. Miss Corset here happens to be this tournament's Benchwarmer Award winner.
Erdwal Ripper - Mr. Ripper here narrowly avoided sharing the Benchwarmer Award with Miss Corset, by dint of participating in the Battle of Shattered Perceptions. He might have also been part of an attack squad in an earlier game, but I'm really not too sure of it.
Falkenrath Aristocrat - Personally, I'd like to change her flavor text to using a quote from a recent anime I've seen, Kyoukai Senjou no Horizon (translated as Horizon in the Middle of Nowhere) and my own words as well:
"Your first mistake was to go up against a magnificent woman like me. Luckily for you, it shall also be your last."Classy, no? In my mind she'd certainly be worthy of the quote, as whenever I was able to cast her, she won me that game.
For the curious, the quote from the anime (the first part of my proposed flavor text) was uttered by a character named Kimi, who seemed at first nothing more than a fanservice girl who had no characterization other than being the protagonist's hot, older sister with big hair and an impressive rack. She utters the line after defeating a battle maiden wielding a legendary spear that can cut space-time, using the power of a Shinto festival song remixed into a techno-rhythm tune and the power of dance.
Yes, it's as awesome as it sounds.
Highborn Ghoul - The cheapest creature in the entire deck. He's a good little beater, but I mainly put him in thinking of him as werewolf transformation deterrent. I remember forcing a bunch of werewolves to resume human form by casting this guy and Faithless Looting.
Nearheath Stalker - My girlfriend and I nicknamed this guy "Heath Creep." He's a creep alright, with the potential to kill off two enemy creatures. At the very least, he's a stop sign for a creature that the opponent thinks is semi-valuable. After all, whatever kills this guy just makes him stronger.
Pitchburn Devils - Speaking of stop signs, here's another one with the same converted mana cost too! It can kill a 4+ toughness creature that it blocks, or kill a smaller attacker and burn out an unlucky creature that wasn't even fighting it directly.
Pyreheart Wolf - A surprising contender for MVP in the deck, Pyreheart Wolf makes for some really awkward blocks from the opponent. Coupled with Charmbreaker Devils and Fires of Undeath in one game, I was running circles around my opponent's Mausoleum Guard who somehow couldn't keep a partner long enough to actually do some guarding. The only reason the game didn't end in three swings was because A) the opponent had 25 life thanks to a Chalice of Life, and B) I opted to play conservative, not hitting the opponent with Fires because I wanted to off a potential blocker instead.
Skirsdag Cultist - Another creature who avoided the dreaded Benchwarmer Award, I never actually got to sacrifice a creature for her to turn into direct damage. I must confess to putting her in the deck just so that Falkenrath Aristocrat could have something to eat and gain a +1/+1 counter from.
Stromkirk Captain - A vampire anti-hero if there ever was one. The Captain has been ordered to save their humans from zombie attacks, and he's making sure every bloodsucker on his watch is going to do a damn awesome job of it.
Stromkirk Patrol - The captain above needs more bodies to boss around to get the job done. These guys are here to fit the bill, and are able to handle your run of the mill zombie on their own. With the captain on the battlefield these guys just become wrecking balls.
Tormented Pariah - Every town has one, and it seems even Stromkirk is no exception. Of course, not all village outcasts can transform into monsters capable of great destruction. This guy's claim to fame was going claw to claw with a Howlpack of Estwald. To put this in perspective, a single werewolf went up against an invading village of werewolves, single-handedly killed them all, then succumbed to blood loss himself. For added drama, I'd like to think he was next on some noble's menu, and decided it was better to go down fighting, never mind if that meant incidentally protecting those who wanted his blood as a main course.
Wakedancer - Here again is another human I put in the deck to feed to the Falkenrath Aristocrat, but really, I needed all the black and red creatures I could get my hands on. Rule of thumb in pre-releases is to bring at least 16 creatures, support them with around 7 spells, and play 17 lands in your 40-card deck. I've gotten to use her Morbid ability once in the entire tournament, though I must admit gaining two bodies on your board after you traded one creature for one or more of your opponent's is quite satisfying. As a back-up, in case the Aristocrat wasn't in play, she and her possible zombie pet could become ammunition for the Skirsdag Cultist.
And there you have it! I rounded all of them up, threw in 9 Mountains and 8 Swamps, and went 3-1 on the first day of the pre-release. Not bad for a guy who had been awake since 8 pm Friday and headed sleepless to the tournament after 10 hours at work.
You'll probably hear from me next when I build a pure Innistrad & Dark Ascension vampire deck. Until then, keep waiting for Avacyn's Return!
