ERR, NOW WHAT?

I must be trying to break or set a personal record. Three eroge finished in four weeks. Of course this means I haven't been able to write the closing chapter to my ambitious, doomed to failure multi-series crossover, and so I'm feeling a little bit guilty.

*******

I'm taking this rare opportunity to update - the house DSL connection is spotty and shaky at times. Sigh. And I'm paying 1200 bucks out of my salary for this? There is something broken with this situation, and I'm pretty sure it's not my network devices.

Nothing special going on, really. A couple of my coworkers have leveled up, so to speak, which puts pressure on the rest of the team. The lower-level peeps are reminded to take the same challenges, while we "older" next-level guys have to push up and reach for the next tier so we can prove our seniority. We're afraid that the shiny, sparkly newly promoted guys would make it seem so easy to reach the next level, and we're afraid of losing face and credibility to the guys and gals on the lowest rung. I think. I speak for myself. I guess.

*******

Aside from the eroge, I've also finished all 4 acts of the doujin game Battle Moon Wars. It's a mouse-driven turn based simulation rpg in the same vein as Super Robot Taisen, except that the characters and plot devices are drawn from Type-Moon's novels and games instead of various mecha series past and present. One advantage that BMW enjoys over SRT/Super Robot Wars is that there is a wonderful soul who has made it his labor of love to translate all of the game into English, allowing those of us who could not make sense of kanji and hiragana to enjoy the story and game play. Granted, Atlus has translated SRW OG and OG 2 for the GBA into English, which I enjoyed, but there's still something about BMW that grabs my heart and keeps it.

Maybe it's the level of detail / animation for the map sprites. The sprites march, saunter, wave their arms about when jumping, fall down on their knees when reaching critical HP, and in one case explode in a crying mushroom cloud. I kid you not.

Or maybe it's the fact that the game allows you to order about in heated fights characters from visual novels and eroge. Guh, why'd I end up talking about eroge again?

*******

The readout on my taskbar says that it's almost 12 noon. I yawn, and really should consider going to bed instead of thinking up lines to write.

Forgive me, my fanfic. I will attend to you soon - as soon as I get my teeth fixed up.

REBERU APU!
Or
You have earned a skill point!

As I write this, it's - what the heck, you can read the time stamp, right?

It's raining now. Half an hour ago, I came home via cab and was greeted by my older brother, who informed me of some interesting new sleeping and bed arrangements. I shrugged, and murmured my assent my family was sleeping soundly, and I had no wish to wake them up.

That was my intent.

Turns out that my Mom, and surprisingly Dad, was also awake at this unholy hour. Dad had a request for me - immediately my weird sensors started tingling. A favor, at just a few minutes around midnight?

I have always tried to be an obedient son. I know that my education levels leave a lot to be desired and I know that it's a constant source of angst - can sexagenarians still angst about anything? - and so I resolved that whatever his request may be, it can't be as hard as getting a thesis paper approved and published, so I'm going to do it.

My old man needed help catching hen that was roosting on one of the trees in front of the house.

I daresay that it was the most unexpected thing that my old man would need my help on, and it sure beats writing a thesis hands down. I did tell him one thing though: "I've never tried to catch livestock at night before, can't we do it at daybreak instead, or when there's light enough for me to see the bird?"

My dad looked at me like I had grown a second head on my shoulders. I belatedly realized that if I could see the bird on the tree's branches, it sure as heaven could see me. D'oh! I blame the hour for it.

Essentially, I was able to act out my Metal Gear / Snake-wannabe fantasies. After changing into my "Stealth Suit" AKA my usual sleepwear of sleeveless shirt and comfy trousers I hunted for a pair of rubber slippers - I am not about to go sneaking around in the darkness of our front yard without footwear - and tried to open the gate as quietly as I could. The gate, not having been oiled recently, groaned and shuddered like a haunted mansion prop.

For this operation Dad was acting as the spotter. He had a powerful flashlight with which he pointed out, well, maybe illuminated would be the better word, my objective. The hen was roosting on one of the branches of the bilimbi (Averrhoa bilimbi) - that's kamias for all the Tagalog-speakers and Filipinos out there - a bit more than six feet above the ground. Get some elevation, stay silent, and grab the sleeping bird. I'm a healthy, gout-free young man, so it should be a piece of cake, right?

The hen of course had to awaken at the sound of the gate and got distressed at the sound of impending capture. It didn't help that my Dad, with unerring accuracy, managed to get the bird right in the eye every single time with his flashlight beams - a holdover no doubt from his more active days, when he and his Forest Management Bureau colleagues teamed up with the then Presidential Anti-Crime Commission to raid illegal logging operations and sawmills.

The bird did the smart thing and moved to a higher branch.

I was having none of it, however. I wanted to rest, I was starting to get hunger pangs - seriously, I have this weird fast metabolism - and so I asked Dad to keep illuminating the target, and not to flash beams at it - while I circled the base of the tree and looked for a way up. Thank goodness the bird wasn't looking down, so I was able to get underneath it and nab one of its legs. A few seconds of avian struggle and it was over.

"Target acquired," I joked to my dad, trying to sound as mechanical as possible. "Mission Accomplished."

During the Intermission, I handed the bird over to Mom while Dad fished around for a length of string to tie hen with. I asked, "Why didn't you tie it up in the first place?"

"We did tie it up. Unfortunately, your cousin's son untied it..."

"The kid was under no supervision? Then they should have tethered him," I wanted to say, in hindsight.

My folks are asleep again, and I'm still hungry time for another pancake. Excuse me.

I decided to go against pancakes and horked the bottle of sweetened pili nuts instead. Sweet!!

Now for some RPG-related claptrap:

You learn a new feat: Improved Nocturnal Grapple (Animal)
Prerequisites
Dex 13, Improved Unarmed Strike.

Benefit
You do not provoke an attack of opportunity (or an escape attempt) when you make a touch attack to start a grapple against an animal smaller than you in low-lighting conditions. You also gain a +4 bonus on all grapple checks vs. animals smaller than you in low-lighting conditions, regardless of whether you started the grapple.

Normal
Without this feat, you provoke an attack of opportunity (or an escape attempt) from the animal when you make a touch attack to start a grapple. Going over to pet it, heck even thinking of touching the little critter will make your intentions known and want it to be not where you could see it.

Special
This feat does not allow you to grapple animals in total darkness unless you have the Blind Fighting feat.

Note that humans are animals, and even an centimeter over your target will allow you to use this feat against him/her.

It's been a while since I've written anything here. I almost thought it would reject me. I find myself asking at times why I bothered creating a blog in the first place, when I feel that I don't have stuff that are worth making an update to my online journal every so often.

Now what?

I might as well stay true to form and stick to my tried and tested time-walk through the past week, talking about games and the world as it revolves around me.

I pause as a certain conversation with someone runs through my head as I write, a conversation about what you type out on your blog for the world to see.

My blog is not meant to be a tour guide through my thought processes. By reading this blog, you are looking at the inner workings of a geek who's proud of it, one who will tell you to look it up on Wikipedia or Google if you ask for a detailed explanation of things he doesn't feel like explaining himself. If it seems abrasive to you, I apologize, but given the alignment of stars and planets on my hour of birth, this is me straight from the can.

This blog will not be a pretty show and tell site, with illustrations accompanying the text paragraphs. I find it too much of upkeep and effort to do so, and I'm not running for hits anyway. Just because I'm a geek doesn't mean I can't be lazy in some aspects.

Wanna know a secret? I just made a blog so that (assuming the Internet does not get destroyed in the near future) my descendants can take a look at it, read it perhaps, and say to themselves, "The old man was whacked, but at least he left behind a bit of himself."

If you're scared of a sea of words which may contain unfathomable, incomprehensible ideas and big, high-falutin' words, turn back now. There are other pages out there. This is your last warning.

THE WEEK THAT WAS...

• Eventide Pre-Release

Right after my graveyard shift, with no sleep at all, I headed for a certain mall to fall in line and get my spot confirmed. I was in the second pod of players, and I was so sleepy that the guys on the table I was sitting at had to point out to me that my ticket was for pod Bravo, not Alpha. Whoa. This is a bad portent.

As always, I end up with a pile of cards with very few playable rares. I tell myself it's ok, I'm only in it for the Pre-Release foil card, a hybrid blue-green monster called the Overbeing of Myth, which in my opinion should have been called Overbeing of Hype. It's a */* creature where * is the number of cards in your hand, and to make sure it can swing big it has you draw an extra card per turn. It doesn't fly, so with the draw ability it's technically an upgrade of the old and lovable Maro from the Mirage block. Essentially a dud when it's the only card in your hand, unless you've got a permanent that boosts the toughness of your blue and/or green creatures, it's awesome when you have a full hand or close to it.

If you're wondering about my deck, I unfortunately disassembled it before I could document it. It was a red-white concoction, focusing on playing my usable rares, Windbrisk Raptor from Shadowmoor and Nobilis of War from Eventide. I also had a mini-combo in the form of Power of Fire and a couple of Kithkin that could untap themselves. The deck, which in my opinion was the best my card pool could produce, did have some great moments.

There was one game where a Powered Patrol Signaler was able to clear my opponent's board, including a Kulrath Knight, and kept it clear, while generating a Kithkin token army. My opponent thought he still had a long clock (Magic jargon for the number of turns you might still have to be able to pull of a win) - until the Nobilis of War came down, turning each token into 3/1 creatures when attacking. My war-crazed tokens were willing to tussle with the enemy defenders, knowing that there would be more to follow once the flame-throwing Patrol Signaler finishes off the blocking creature.

If you still didn't get it, Power of Fire allows you to tap your creature to and have it deal 1 damage to any target. Patrol Signaler can untap himself for 2 mana and net you a 1/1 Kithkin token as well. Combined, my board can actually deal 4 points of damage to any target - at the point I was able to complete the combo I had 5 lands, three of which were Plains, and was able to draw a fourth.

Then there was the game where I was able to play Windbrisk Raptor (a whopping 7 mana investment) and was able to enchant it with Scourge of the Nobilis. The Scourge is part of a set of 2-color enchantments that provide a certain bonus to a creature if it's one of two colors. If a creature is both the colors, these enchantments provide 2 power-ups to the creature - a strong incentive to play 2 colors. Anyway, the Scourge gives +1/+1 to red and white creatures, grants the ability to increase damage output with mana to red creatures and lifelink (AKA damage = life gain) to white creatures. Putting it on the Raptor turned it into a 6/8 flying beast that grants attackers lifelink - including itself. Now, according to the rules, each instance of lifelink triggers separately. Which meant whatever the Raptor hits (for 6) I gain 12 life, a blessing considering that I was on the ropes then. After confirming with a judge that this was the way double lifelink works the game quickly grew out of hand and my opponent conceded.

Another cute cycle in the Eventide block were the hatchlings. These were 6/6 creatures for 4 mana, which came into play with 4 -1/-1 counters each. Each hatchling had a special ability, and each would shake off a -1/-1 counter whenever its controller plays a spell that belongs to one of its two colors. If the spell was both colors, (say a Scourge of the Nobilis) the hatchling shakes off 2 counters. It happened in my next game, where my opponent was stuck with 2 lands and I had a lot of lands and no creatures until turn 4, the red-white Belligerent Hatchling. So I tapped 4, played it, and when my opponent discarded another card to end his turn, I tried to contain my glee as I dropped a fifth land and played my other creature I was holding since Turn 1: Nobilis of War. Suddenly my Hatchling was taking a 6-point chunk of my opponent's 20 life. Still my opponent's deck refused to cooperate and it was over on my turn when I drew Scourge of the Nobilis and enchanted the Hatchling with it, turning it into an 8/8 first strike creature with lifelink and the capacity to do more damage. My opponent was staring down at a maximum of 17 damage in one attack - he extended his hand and shook mine, commenting that "Suddenly, my three color fast attack deck seems SO SLOW right now."

"Mana screw, dude. It could happen to anybody," I replied.

Of course, I lost the next two games after that, I mean I was utterly defeated, 0-2 for the next duels. It sucked, really. I lost, and I lost quickly each game, and I can only curse the Fates - the blonde Testarosa one not included, of course.

I modded the deck as soon as I got home with the prize packs, which yielded another Scourge of the Nobilis and 2 perfect candidates to bestow it to: a pair of first-striking hobgoblin knights mounted on cicadas that could bear their weight. The 1/2 fliers suddenly turn into flying, life-sucking bringers of DOOM that can engage any opponent and kill it if there was enough red or white mana available - yes, you read that right.

That's the dream, at least. Only in 40-card constructed.

• Finished Hellgate:London At Last

Possible Spoiler Warning

I step into St. Paul's Hellgate after realizing that the enemy just continuously re-spawns like mad. While it was probably good for racking up experience points, dinner was about to be served, and I wanted to see with my girlfriend what the final battle would be like.

The witch lady I've been traveling with seems to be a heavenly avatar of some sort and instructs me to finish off 5 demon generals while she keeps the big guy distracted. It appears to me that her method of distracting the final boss is to play telepathic mind games with him while hovering after me for protection, or perhaps a lack of sense of direction.

So, onto hunting the mini-bosses. I had to constantly re-build my conjurer's army of elementals and make sure that the tanking Carnagor didn't fall. The mini-bosses were essentially re-colors and re-sizes of some enemies I've faced before, with the exception of the Reaper mini-boss - I don't think I've ever encountered a Reaper enemy before, if memory serves me right. What made the Reaper mini-boss slightly annoying was that it was in close proximity to a flying ethereal type mini-boss. The combination almost spelled death for my Carnagor, but timely use of my blood (read:HP) in exchange for my pet's and ordering it to execute its Meat Shield special ability both kept it alive and drew the stupid flying boss down closer to the ground. At this point I was thankful that I took some points in and Storm Elemental, Toxin Elemental, and Elemental Nova. I was able to strip its shields quickly, prevent it from healing by afflicting it with poison, and land Fire Damage Over Time and Defense Down de-buffs on it while stunning it every so often - that's what an entire family of elementals that just went Nova could do. The Elemental Nova doubles the chance of my little glowing pets adding special effects to their attacks, and boy, what a demonstration.

Truth be told, Sydonai, the final Boss, was a let down. Compared to fighting the titular enemy in Diablo 2 or any of his brothers, Sydonai bombed. He never got to me, always going after my elementals, and finally was unable to break away from my loyal Carnagor, at which point we buried him under a ton of fireballs, lighting bolts, poison spit (eww), warp blasts, brute force, and electric eels. I kid you not, that's what the rifle was called, an Electric Eel Launcher, and aside from not missing once the target is in 20 meters, I added power-ups to it that made it deal fire damage, cause the Ignite status effect, and increase the chance of the Shock status effect to prevent skill and spell use.

After all that work, what do you get? Nothing. Absolutely, positively nothing. A little cinematic is shown where it's revealed that Murmur who was thought to have been eaten by Sydonai is still alive despite all the massive damage on his human body, and thanks you for knocking this particular obstacle out of his way. He pays you back by sending you through a rift, then brings out a book which might have been important to his plans. The joke's on him though, as the pages turn into cinders, leaving him with a look of disbelief on his face. Cue crappy ending credit sequence here.

Perhaps there would be more on the second time you finish the game, you might say? Perhaps. I'm in no mood to challenge it again anytime soon though. I want to get back into writing, and I have a little loose end I want to tie up.

Until next time, may your saving of the world, your prevention of the apocalypse, and heroic efforts be met with the fanfare you deserve. Remember, tempt not the Fates, especially the blonde Testarosa one - she has some kick-ass friends, notably one Demon Cannon Girl.

So Much For Regularity

A backward account of recent events follows.

I finished watching Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha and the A's season this morning. Sweet. You watch it expecting Card Captor Sakura, you end up feeling like you've sat through Super Robot Wars Original Generation or some other mecha series. It's a magical girl show that boys shouldn't feel ashamed to watch.

I changed my phone bling from Bleach's Grimmjow to Konata of Lucky Star Fame. I felt like a poseur, toting a character on my phone who I didn't no squat about, so I felt no remorse replacing the Arrancar with the blue haired 17-year old otaku.

I joined the Shadowmoor pre-release. I went 2-2, which was better than my Lorwyn and Morningtide finishes. Highlights if the day were my first Automatic Game Loss for suspected cheating and taking a foreign player to Philippine pre-release rule school. Remember kids, when using sleeves and sideboarding cards, don't make the same mistake I did of being lazy and placing the sideboard cards over the replaced ones. That will net you an AGL (see above), even if it's a casual environment like a pre-release. Also note that in a Philippine pre-release, the remaining cards you did not register as your main deck is your sideboard, and if you're lucky enough to be able to assemble a functional deck with the remnants, you are allowed to use that second deck during Games 2 and 3.

A few weeks back, I finished Rozen Maiden and its second season Traumend. For those not in the know, the show is about 7 living dolls who are actually Weapons of Mass Destruction fighting each other in a brawl called the Alice Game, with the last doll standing becoming Alice, dollmaker Rozen's ideal of the perfect girl. Somebody should point out to all the characters concerned that perfection is an illusion, or perhaps a delusion. The first season could be descrined as Hikikomori Rescue 101. The next season makes grown men cry when dolls are killed.

My gashapon collection really needs shelf space of their own. To date, I've got 8 SD Mobile Suits, an SD Eternal; 4 Capcom fighting females: Lilith and Morrigan (from Darkstalkers), Ingrid (from a Capcom title I'm sure I didn't play), and Claire (from Plasma Sword 2); and 6 more figures from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (2 Nagato Yuki in red and black bunny girl garb, Mikuru Asahina in Gothic Loli wear, Haruhi Suzumiya in beach wear, taking her top off, and 2 versions of Itsuki Koizumi, one holding a fireball in his hand, and the other one not).

Gaming Update: I'm pretty sure I'm at the last act of Hellgate London. The wonder of Dawn of War: Soulstorm has worn off for me, and it's now become a grind to acquire all the wargear for all 9 commanders. That's a lot of grinding. What I've recently picked up is the first three acts of Battle Moon Wars, and it was worth my time investment acquiring them. I can't read the Japanese conversations to get all the plot, but what I can decipher has be busting my gut laughing. A game that makes you fight a ninja cosplaying as a Gundam ZZ, who is actually the fusion of two psychotic killers with super powers? I didn't see this coming when I signed up for this, but it sure as hell was enjoyable.

That's all for now. I'd love to get back to work on my fanfiction - there's so much material to work with now.

Update! Update!

It's amazing that I'm posting again after almost a month since my last post. A sign of regularity, of things to come perhaps? Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

So what have I been up to?

I'm trying to finish a bunch of games I've recently installed on my spanking new hard disk. It started with Dawn of War: Dark Crusade, trying to see all the endings. I've seen the Space Marines' ending, as well as those of the Orks, the Tau, the Imperial Guard, and the Necrons. The Tau ending was courtesy of my brother's perseverance. So far, I've yet to make sizable progress with Chaos and the Eldar campaigns, and then the other games struck.

Next up was an oldie but goodie - Age of Mythology. I've played the game before, but was disappointed when the campaign module of my brother's copy was corrupted - it wouldn't even let us finish the Greek campaign. Oddly enough, the multiplayer and skirmish modes were intact. Thanks to my girlfriend, I'm now able to enjoy it in all its glory - the impetus to finishing it is the fact that my girlfriend also has a copy of the AoM: Titans expansion.

The DoW: Soulstorm expansion is ready to spring upon avid War Hammer 40,000 gamers/players, which bodes well for financially strapped fans like myself. I've downloaded the demo, which allows you to play the Dark Eldar vs the Blood Ravens Space Marine chapter. It looks good - my only gripe is that small vehicle limit and caps don't make for exciting dogfights with the brand-new air units. From what I've seen, the game will be built on the Dark Crusade meta-engine, which is in turn a nod to old Westwood classics where you get to choose which enemy territory to attack. I'm excited to play with the Sisters of Battle, AKA Nuns With Guns. Yes, take that comment as you will.

Next up is Hellgate London, a contemporary dungeon crawl. You know it's good times when you're shooting demons up with your elemental rocket launchers, slicing them up close with power weapons, and they respond in kind. Hellgate offers dual-wielding of weapons even at the earliest levels of the game for some character classes, and with all the black armor going around, you can pretend you're playing a hellish version of The Matrix or Gunz: The Duel. No wall walk though, and melee combat is restricted to just two fighter classes, both of which can wield a pistol in their off hand. Come on people, is it so hard to kick or curb stomp a weakened enemy?

Then there's World in Conflict. It dubs itself as a real-time tactics game, or RTT. As far as I can tell, the only difference it has from RTS titles is that you don't build units in a RTT, you just click whatever troops you want deployed and they parachute or get airdropped to a designated point within 20 seconds. WiC also features the ability to recover the points you spent on destroyed units, which means eventually you'll be able to re-field that tank which died early on in your game to save your hide from being bum-rushed. I don't know if this is going to be a standard feature of RTTs, though.

The most recent addition is Company of Heroes. I call it Dawn of World War II. It's also a Relic release, and unsurprisingly features concepts familiar to DoW players: capturing strategic points, reinforcing squads that have lost a few good men, and most of the units come with special abilities. There are bits of realism though, and these are what make the game stand out from just playing DoW with the Imperial Guard: You can only reinforce infantry near an APC or HQ buildings/Barracks, captured points require that you have uncontested control over map sections leading from the point to other territory you control, and infantry making use of cover like walls and fortifiable buildings. Heck, even tank facing comes into play - you don't want your tank to take a hit to your rear or flanks, even by infantry.

Finally, an otaku update. My gashapon figure collection is growing again, after gifting some of them to people I know. I'm left with 3 SD super robots (The Big O, Godmars, and Shin Getter-1), Misato's apartment (which means Shinji, Asuka, and Pen-Pen) with a Rei add-on, and Kyon's harem of un-ordinary girls (Haruhi, Yuki, and Mikuru). Don't ask me when I'm going to buy another 1/144 or 1/100 mecha sprue kit - my Alteisen traumatized me with its loose joints. Besides, with all the games I have, as well as Shakugan no Shana Second and Rental Magica, do you think I'd have time?

Ja ne!

So What Else Is New?

This is my first post for the year 2008, which coincides with Magic: The Gathering's Morningtide pre-release event. This is just a few days after the weekend of said event.

I had pre-registered, and with the help of a good friend, I got into Pod A of the tournament, which meant I was among the first few people in the Philippines to open, see, touch, and play with Morningtide cards in a Wizards Of The Coast-sanctioned event. Yay!

While we were seated and waiting for the cards to be passed out, a lady came up on the stage and made an important announcement: we would not be receiving 1 Lorwyn tournament pack and 3 Morningtide boosters as we expected. Instead, we were to create our 40-card minimum decks with 6 Morningtide boosters! As one can imagine, this proclamation was greeted with mixed reactions. There were scattered cheers because it meant more cards from the newest set to be had, but when realization settled in, dismayed groans could be heard. I was one of those groaning when I realized that there wouldn't be a chance to get planeswalkers from the random card pool. Sigh.

Being part of the first pod meant that there was no deck swap. This meant that if you opened your packs and got a lot of mediocre, unexciting, or downright crappy cards you were stuck with them. If you had some nifty ones, you were golden. Unfortunately, not only did I draw no powerhouses, my selection of usable spells and creatures per color was disheartening to say the least. Worse still, I drafted a colors that, shall we say got beaten black and blue literally all throughout the day. I used a Red/Green/ Warrior deck, splashing white for some creature control.

Here is the decklist. I'm not going to break things down piece by piece like I did with my previous, M:TG-themed post, because every time I see the list I cringe. Look the cards up using Gatherer, an online card database, and if you don't know where Gatherer is, Google it.

Main Deck:

3 Brighthearth Banneret
1 Bramble Paragon
1 Fertilid
2 Lys Alana Bowmaster
2 Seething Pathblazer
3 Winnower Patrol
1 Changeling Sentinel
2 Game-Trail Changeling
1 Lunk Errant
1 Shard Volley
1 Obsidian Battle-Axe
3 Weight of Conscience
1 Roar of the Crowd
1 Hunting Triad
1 Reins of the Vinesteed

12 Forests, 5 Mountains, 3 Plains

Sideboard: 1 Pyroclast Consul

The funny thing is, the day after the event I went to my girlfriend's house to show her the new cards. While there, I asked if I could borrow some basic lands from her, Islands and Swamps, and tried to make a working deck out of the black and blue cards I didn't use, after which I gave her the deck and told her to play with it. Now, neither of us is a cardshark, world-level player in terms of skill, and she has just gotten around to being sneaky with instants (she can now play combat tricks and take me by surprise), but the newly-constructed Prowl deck I gave her, made up of Morningtide-only cards was monstrous against my temperamental Warrior deck. I never won a single game with her using my poor Warriors.

Do you realize what this means? It means that during the next pre-release I attend, after I make an initial deck, I take the cards left on the bench and force a deck out of that. Life is funny that way.

TIME CONTROL

They say that time flies when you're having fun, or if you're doing something that can be considered as fun. If I could, I'd spend my life only doing things that I deem fun. The years may fly, making me die that much faster, but at least I had a blast.

I pause in my writing, wondering whether or not I should turn this ramble into a post for my blog. Would a narrative on waiting for your turn at the Social Security Services branch make good entry material? Considering that a blog is a personal thing, naturally, anything that I post I would consider good enough, right? Quite a dilemma, no?

It was around quarter to nine when I began to write, my right ankle on my left knee, my plastic folder propped on my right leg and thigh, scribbling intently on the back of a rejected thesis proposal. In the vernacular, my pose would be called de cuatro, evoking the shape of the Arabic numeral 4. I wrote to accelerate the chimes that signal change on the LED display - it is currently serving customer 1017. When 1049 comes around, it will be my turn.

I'm doing this on a workday, Wednesday, and when night falls I'll be heading to the office. I work the graveyard shift for a business outsourcing firm, handling tech support for a financial software company. The pay is quite good - a college washout who only has a high school diploma to his name could do worse than $415.55 a month.

Again I pause, as a soft-spoken gentleman calls out names in a carrying voice, and I hear him mention mine. I walk up to him and he informs me to head to the ID capture area. Good, I think - I'm making progress. (The ID capture area, contrary to what you might have imagined, was not laden with red and white spheres the size of baseballs.) It has been exactly thirty minutes since I started writing this, and I move deeper into the alcove that holds the camera equipment. An older man chats me up, and we speak for a minute. A guard walks over and begins sorting people who need to get their picture taken.

(Here ends the manuscript - original content follows.)

I was third in line for getting my photo taken. A short, pregnant woman in a red dress was accommodated first, and the older man who spoke with me went second. The process is simple - stare at the camera, then walk up to the desk to record your right index fingerprint and thumbprint, and do the same for your left hand. Finally, you are asked to enter and confirm a four-digit PIN. The same man who was calling out names earlier took my biometrics, wrote on a slip of paper which he tore off and handed to me. It seems to be my claim stub for the ID card.

"Next," he called out. I took that as my cue to leave.

I was waiting for a ride home by 10:33 AM.

I only update when there's something I feel noteworthy that's got to be shared with the passing reader.

Complaining about the slowness of help with a thesis proposal isn't noteworthy.

Raking in 4 wins and 0 losses at a DCI-sanctioned magic tournament?

Now that's what I'm talking about.

Doing the above with a ragtag no-bells no-whistles deck?

Definitely blog-worthy.

Here's the decklist, with commentary.

Creatures (19):

1 Festering Goblin - Can take down a X/2 creature after combat, thanks to its -1/-1 to target once it dies. Alternately, can knock out a couple of x/1 creatures instead. In reality, didn't pop out as often as I'd like it to have done so. He's one mean 1/1.

1 Giant Spider - Mainly in for air defense, he made the cut because between him and an instant that gives a small P/T boost, I'd take the 2/4 spider. Didn't come out to play much.

1 Joiner Adept - good early beats (2/1) and turns your lands into painless Cities of Brass. Seriously, what guy playing green and two other colors would pass this up?

1 Kavu Climber - I got it for the cantrip, since it's overpriced for its 3/3 body. However, it was the straight guy in a two-man comedy act that can break a deadlock.

1 Llanowar Elves - I needed an early guy, and he can double as extra mana to get key creatures into play faster. The difference of one turn is huge.

1 Might Weaver - early beats, to the tune of 2/1. Theoretically, he should be able to give red or white creatures trample, but my red creatures were either tech or evasive, and there was only one valid recipient for trample.

1 Nekrataal - Mr. 187 himself. He hits the table and an enemy hits the bin. Most of the time. The rest of the time he's an expensive 2/1 first striker for 4 mana.

2 Phyrexian Rager - I know what you're thinking - playing an ogre (read: 2/2) that nicks you for one and gives you a card in return? In a 40-card deck, hell, yes! Also, I was scrabbling for critters, and the card pile had two of them. It was too good for me to pass up.

2 Pincher Beetles - Normally I wouldn't consider playing with 3/1 dudes, especially these dudes. You can't cast Giant Growth or Healing salve on these bugs to save them, thanks to their Shroud ability. On the plus side, opponents can't bounce, burn, kill, enchant, or do other shenanigans on these bugs. In my fights, however, these guys were stalwart soldiers, facing down enemy 5/4 and 6/4 Wurms with no fear - and the threat of the next couple of guys...

2 Prodigal Pyromancer - the (dare I say it?) jewel of my army. I nicknamed them Ash and Ember in my head, and they always drew the opponents glares when either hit the table, and a groan when both of them went online. They kept x/2 and x/1 creatures away, and as mentioned above, 4 toughness ain't so safe around pincher beetles anymore, often resulting in the beetles going to the red zone unmolested. Fear the flames, or at least, the threat of flames.

1 Ravenous Rats - Another early beater, and an expendable one at that. The discard effect didn't really help that much, from what I've experienced in the matches that it did enter play. Oh well.

1 Rock Badger - Expensive, evasive (mountainwalk) 3/3 red creature. Need I say any more? He's golden when the opponent was playing red, clunky when no mountains were around.

1 Stampeding Wildebeests - Kavu Climber's partner-in-crime, as well as a major deterrent to enemy attackers. At 5/4 for four mana, he's terribly efficient, except for a small drawback - a green creature has to go home every upkeep. Enter Kavu Climber, and you have a setup that says "Draw to cards every turn for 3GG, and get a 3/3 blocker to boot." In their debut performance, these two criminals dug my library for lands and blockers until I could draw Blaze and point to my opponent's head.

1 Thundering Giant - A 4/3 creature with haste that costs 5 mana, two of them red. Getting hit by 4 damage for 5 mana feels like direct damage to me, except he's reusable. Useful for punishing opponents with weak or no defense on your turn.

2 Viashino Runner - More evasive red guys. They ensure an easy 3 damage if the opponent doesn't keep 2 creatures to block, which makes up for the 2 toughness. An OK card for 4 mana.

Spells (5):

1 Blaze - When you see this card in your choices, take it. Splash red in your deck if you have to. In Limited, this is the bomb. It kills either a key enemy critter or a weakened enemy wizard.

1 Demolish - This card usually is delegated to the sideboard, but because I knew there was a chance that I'd be facing transformers (not the mechs from the movie or that 80's show, but non-basic lands that turn in to creatures with abilities by spending 2 mana), this card was mandatory. And on the off chance that an annoying artifact comes up, it's gonna be toast.

1 Fists of the Anvil - Due to the lack of direct damage in the deck, I went for the next best thing. I saw how effective the Fists were in a match that I watched, where an aggressive deck tapped out to attack and finished the round 1 turn earlier thanks to the extra 4 damage. It wonderfully happened to me as well on my last game, where it spelled a win over reinforcements that could have stymied me had there been a next opponent's turn.

1 Spitting Earth - In Limited, you take whatever damage you can get. Spitting Earth is good whenever you draw it, dealing damage equal to the mountains you have in play. Too bad it's a sorcery though.

1 Terror - The classic black instant kill spell. If it ain't a machine or a minion of evil, it's gonna die from a heart attack.

Lands (16):
6 Forest
5 Mountain
5 Swamp

Like I said, no bombs, no flash, just plain old whittle him down to zero before he does the same to you.

Until next time.

Hello, friend, it's been a while. A little over a year has passed since I last did anything with this tiny parcel of Internet virtual estate.

Well, what has passed since then? I'm about to leave my interesting job for a return to the U of the P, in hopes of snagging the ever-elusive scroll of hire-y-ness: gives you +1 prestige point and adds +5 to your Job-Hunting feat rolls.

I've seen what I believe to be the best mecha series of all time, booting Mobile Battleship Nadesico from its pedestal in my hall of fame - Shinkon Gattai Godannar. If neither of these names sound familiar, wiki them, or better yet, grab them off the Net while you still can.

It's a year late, but better late than never as I've just finished watching The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. Voted as one of the best to come out in 2006, and after seeing it I was like "I know why it wasn't the best - there was no mecha action in it." I've been thinking of converting full-time to Haruhiism - the belief that the power to reset and rewrite the universe at a whim resides in a short-haired Japanese brunette schoolgirl who has her heart set out for a male classmate of hers with no last name. On second thought, maybe I better put it off for later days.

This will be all for my reclamation post - I've yet to sleep, and I need to ask my buddies for a certain picture.

Recently I made a post about Rising Force Online. I would like to correct a few things in that post.

Mainly this: the Bellato MAU is not as big-ass as I might have led some of you to imagine. The average Corite and Bellato individual is human in proportion. Battle axes and halberds really look like two handed-weapons when wielded by the humanoids. Long swords are really long swords, as broad swords are broad. When an (Accretian) Imperial soldier wields, they look really tiny. The size difference becomes more pronounced when it comes to firearms and bows. When an Accretian holds a rifle with both hands, it looks proportional. When the humans hold the same rifle (all three races can use around 90% of what weapons the other races can use), however, they look like they're lugging around artillery pieces.

This is probably why no humans can use launchers unaided, and only the mechanical monsters can. By this, I mean the whole of Accretia and MAUs. The difference is that Accretians can easily switch weapons from launcher to another weapon - MAUs cannot. This implies that the horsepower output of any Accretian is what allows them to carry, aim, and fire the launcher without flying back a few meters every time. This also means that MAUs are just plain heavy, which is why they don't get knocked back when some of them fire their missiles.

Winding back to size, an Accretian is at least 25-50% taller than a human. And since Bellato fear the Accretian monsters, they made their weapons against them bigger. A Massive Armor Unit is around 25% taller than an Imperial, but boasts better protection and weaponry. MAUs, however, are not invincible. I've seen an attack group of 3 go down in the face of Cora magic. Granted, there were 2 dozen or so Corites, averaging to level 30, and the MAU squad went down like trucks on thin ice. The Corite hit and run tactic using spells showed them.

MAUs are scary when they raid low-level areas. The Corite response, as shown above, was superior sorcery. The Accretian response - I have yet to see it. In theory, once an Accretian gains access to the level 30 Grenade Launcher, MAUs are toast - the Grenade Launcher can shoot stun grenades which should stun even MAUs. Even its smaller level 10 cousin can throw grenades that screw the accuracy of whatever it hits, potentially providing trouble for the MAU.

A last curiosity is the Flame Thrower. It is considered a launcher type weapon, usable only by the Empire. In real life, flamethrowers have no recoil, so why can't the humans use them? Perhaps the answer lies in the weight and the intense heat generated by the weapon. I've seen Bellato and Cora armor, and none of them look heat-retardant - unlike the Flamethrower infantry of Command and Conquer. MAUs take flamethrowers to a new height, with some models boasting two flamers on the unit. Cheesy cowards.

Major sort-of upheaval in my life: my sister has made it her mission to see that I finish my thesis on time, or kill me trying. While I do appreciate her effort, I'm going to hold back giving her my gratitude until I actually finish the damned thing, which has been for the last two years.

Yeah, I know, I suck. :b

Recent changes: I've taken a vow to avoid softdrinks and sodas as much as possible. Shouldn't be too hard, given the high cost of them drinks.

I've recently tried my hand at Rising Force (RF) Online. Man, it reminds me of Tantra. KSers galore, and the bad part is you can't go into PK mode and off the mothas, if the motha-F-ing KSers are of your race. Sheesh.

Backstory: After the mechanical Accretian Empire was shamefully defeated by the combined weak flesh and blood forces of the Bellato Union and the Holy Order of Cora, all three factions decided that they wanted this holystone-rich planet in the Novus sector. Bellato and Cora broke off their truce - the holystone is up for grabs.

The Accretians are like a massive capitalist robotic ant hive. Each of the three castes are expected to kick ass in the name of and improve the economy of the Empire. If they don't Darth Vader will come back from the dead and whup their non-performing asses silly, and no one wants that to happen. Basically, a master ROM BIOS, either a warrior, ranger, or specialist, is cloned and downloaded into an upgradable hardware bundle - the characters. This basic ROM features no unique or flashy skills, unlike the characters of the other factions. The one good thing that comes out of this mass produced intelligence is that every Accretian is built with the knowledge of Launcher usage. These missile/rocket launchers cannot be wielded by puny humans due to weight and recoil - and it is not unheard of for frontline close combat Accretian units to unleash a withering volley of missile fire before drawing weapons and engaging. Also, Accretian scientists have developed a wide variety of Launcher ammunition to deal with any situations their soldiers might encounter. (In fantasy MMORPG terms, Launchers can be equipped with Fire, Earth, Wind, Water, and Neutral elemental bullets.) Accretians can deploy and enjoy launchers as early as level 15.

If Accretians were this good, why did they lose to the Bellato and Cora Combine?

Well, they were up versus 2:1 odds. The Cora had elemental attack magic, and the Bellato had MAUs (Mobile Assault Units - aka BattleMechs / Mobile Armor). While Accretians could hold their own against the big, bulky MAUs, and they have consumable items that boost magic resistance, in the long run numbers will tip the battle.

To wit: a lv 35 Accretian Specialist might have around 2000-3000 HP. A single MAU, the lowest grade, has at least 100,000 HP, and is piloted by a Lv 35 Bellato Driver. MAUs come in 2 flavors, Goliath (close combat) and Catapult (ranged combat). MAUs are huge - the average Accretian is roughly 6 to 9 feet tall (2-3 meters), and MAUs are easily 5 to 10 times bigger. (There is an unsurety of height ratio, as no MAU has stood still long enough for a curious Accretia unit to measure it. Scientists attribute this to the caffeine in Bellato Driver's favorite beverage.)

So why did I pick Accretia? Because robots are cool. Because elemental rockets and missiles are cool. Because flesh is weak, and steel is strong, which was why the Bellato built MAUs in the first place. It is proper to say that Accretians have no souls; only living things have mere souls. What Accretians have are spirits of steel.

I am very ill. I've just been diagnosed with GERD - a gastroesophageal reflux disease.

What is GERD?

GERD, simply put, is a disease of the lower esophageal spinchter (LES). The LES is a flap that prevents food and hydrochloric acid from crawling up your windpipe whenever you lie down or perform a handstand.

Normally, the LES does its job well enough - it expands to let food into the stomach, then constricts. When it doesn't though, that's when the pain begins.

How does GRD feel?

You know you have GERD if you experience chronic heartburn.

GERD effects feel like an ulcer - too much acid in your stomach. Unlike an ulcer where bacteria produce acids and dump them into your stomach, the hyperacidic effects of GERD spring from reflex. Missing a meal then having a big snack to make up for it sends the stomach into overdrive, doubling its acid production. Also, this compensating binge tends to cause the esophagus to expand beyond the area of the LES.

This is where the pain comes in. Even while eating, your stomach will ache; after eating, the acid travels up. Normally, the LES will keep these gases down, but since the esophagus is now bigger than your LES, some of these will make it into your esophagus.

What do you do about GERD?

GERD is treated using proton pump inhibitors. These aren't Star Trek type weapons - these are drugs which reduce the acid content in the stomach juice, so if it ever does crawl up into the esophagus, it is less irritating.

You could also change your lifestyle and diet. Avoid smoking, sodas, acidic fruit drinks, chocolate, and spirits. Don't eat large meals before bedtime.

Lastly, don't ignore GERD! If left unchecked, the esophagus may start to bleed and narrow, resulting in difficulty in swallowing. Worse, it may give rise to Barett's esophagus, where the cells in the esophagus are replaced by those sinilar to the ones lining the stomach. This defensive mutation increases the chance of developing esophageal cancer.

Well, I've got myself a final term to graduate, and it still doesn't look good. My girlfriend is far ahead of me - she just finished her first draft this afternoon, all four bound volumes of it.

If I'm the one asked, I'll say I have a very small chance of succeeding in this part of my life. While some may attribute this statement to my ever-low self-esteem, I happen to know better. I better start constructing an attractive curriculum vitae sheet.

I didn't mean to make this into a weeping post, honest. I wanted to post about Ken Akamatsu's Love Hina manga. I just finished reading it, and it gave me bittersweet twinges of hope. Here I am wishing life was like art again.

I'd like to thank Akamatsu-san, for creating the world where such memorable characters moved in; and to Keitaro Urashima as well, for giving readers worldwide of ear-to-ear grins and hours of delicious fanservice from his tenants, relatives, and friends.

LAST WORD: There's no way you wouldn't love a guy who shows the whole world what his newly-wedded wife is wearing under her wedding dress.

I'm still alive, though I might be a out of a home and wandering the streets by March. Oh well.

I'm finding it hard to have time for myself, hard to believe, no? But this blog bears witness to the fact - check out how many days there are between this post and the last.

I wonder if Blogger has a better way of laying out pictures and text without messing with HTML - in my experience, anytime I insert a picture using Blogger, they always go to the top of the post, where the relevant text isn't. I might just resort to hot-linking to my online album to do so.

My enrollment is still in limbo, keeping my thesis (or rather my thesis proposal) company - and my fanfic writing has ground to a halt. The last time I checked, I was trying to finish the Love Hina manga at home - the nagging gets to me though.

Final words - Gaogaigar visuals definitely not for kids. Mikoto looks too delicious to be put in a kiddy show. Remember - if it has legs, it's for kids. If it has boobs, it isn't.

I'm still alive, though I might be a out of a home and wandering the streets by March. Oh well.

I'm finding it hard to have time for myself, hard to believe, no? But this blog bears witness to the fact - check out how many days there are between this post and the last.

I wonder if Blogger has a better way of laying out pictures and text without messing with HTML - in my experience, anytime I insert a picture using Blogger, they always go to the top of the post, where the relevant text isn't. I might just resort to hot-linking to my online album to do so.

My enrollment is still in limbo, keeping my thesis (or rather my thesis proposal) company - and my fanfic writing has ground to a halt. The last time I checked, I was trying to finish the Love Hina manga at home - the nagging gets to me though.

Final words - Gaogaigar visuals definitely not for kids. Mikoto looks too delicious to be put in a kiddy show. Remember - if it has legs, it's for kids. If it has boobs, it isn't.

I'm still alive after three nights of watching Henyo, my brother's Net cafe. No sign of the thug who pwned all that time - I'm still not letting my guard down, though.

I know, I know I've let you down.
I've been a fool to myself.
I thought I could
live for no one else
But not through all the hurt and pain.
It's time for me to respect
the ones you love
mean more than anything.
So with sadness in my heart
I feel the best thing I could do
is end it all
and leave forever.
What's done is done, it feels so bad.
What once was happy now is sad.
I'll never love again
my world is ending.

I wish that I could turn back time
cos now the guilt is all mine.
Can't live without the trust from the ones you love.
I know we can't forget the past
you can't forget love and pride,
because of that it's killing me inside.

It all returns to nothing, it all comes
tumbling down, tumbling down,
tumbling down.
it all returns to nothing, I just keep
letting me down, letting me down,
letting me down.
In my heart of hearts,
I know that I could never love again.
I've lost everything,
everything
that matters to me,
matter in this world.

I wish that I could turn back time
cos now all the guilt is mine.
Can't live without
the trust from those you love.
I know we can't forget the past.
You can't forget love and pride,
because of that, it's killing me inside

It all returns to nothing, it all comes
tumbling down, tumbling down,
tumbling down.
It all returns to nothing, I just keep
letting me down, letting me down,
letting me down.
It all returns to nothing, it all comes
tumbling down, tumbling down,
tumbling down.
It all returns to nothing, I just keep
letting me down, letting me down,
letting me down.

Seems apt for my life right now. "Can't live without the trust from ones you love." I wonder how long they will, when they see how hopeless I really am.

This is my last-person seen post. If no one has heard from me via SMS, e-mail, or landline phone for an extended time, it means I might have suffered an untimely demise while tending the Internet cafe in the Pantranco area.

In fairness, getting wiped off the face of the planet by some low-life thug won't be too big a ripple in the cosmic sea. I'll be missed by few people, only my girlfriend and family will cry at my funeral. My girlfriend because she loves me no matter what a worthless bum I am, and my family because of all the cash, effort, and time they poured into me getting a college degree which I had to screw up even further by dying without their permission.

So what has my life been? My life, loath I am to admit it, is defined by whatever people I have in my circle. I am an incurable gamer, and if they had a Bachelor of Science in Gaming I'd have graduated with honors. My life is revolves around accomodating my friends, my girlfriend, trying unsuccessfully time and again to get a college degree, and gaming.

I've self-taught myself katakana, forgotten most of my Spanish and Italian, and since a very young age fluent in both English and Filipino. I've spent the past three or four years trying to get a bachelor's degree in Library and Information Science, clearing all my major subjects in two years only to be bogged down for another two years by the thesis proposal. Life doesn't get suckier than that. I'd say it sucks to be me, but I've got a great girlfriend (the best in the world), I'm still more or less in one piece (though my teeth beg to differ), and I'm still not living in the streets.

I should have tried to go to Creative Writing, or Mass Communication, or Journalism when I got out of Engineering. Why I chose Library and Information Science, I'll never remember exactly. Maybe it was because they didn't have a GWA requirement when I was looking for a college to take me in before the University of the Philippines kicked my ass out after two semesters of being a non-major. Do I regret my choice? I could say I don't. I made a new friend shifting into the Institute of Library and Information Science, despite the Institute's refusal to allow me to graduate.

That's not really fair to the Institute who took me in when the others wouldn't. In fairness, I'm still lost as a freshman, despite being in college for six years already. I'm living in Avenue Q, and my friends do too. But you have to wonder at your department, when your thesis proposal panel tells you during the discussion that the University paper is looking for writers for its literature section. It makes one wonder what to think.

My current life is being sucked away by a corporation more powerful than Microsoft, more eBill than Gates - Banpresto. Curse their SRW line! If I was to create my own major and degree, I'd be Ph. D. in Simulation Role Playing Games, Major in Super Robot Wars. Oh, Kingdom of Loathing comes in second place for draining my time, my blog last.

All in all, this post just wants to say, if I haven't posted in an obscenely long time and people haven't heard from me, I've been killed by some semi-educated lowlife in Pantranco while I was tending the Internet cafe my brother owns. Knock on wood.

My thesis proposal was rejected today. That's it. Just like that. My life is over. Time to look for the nearest bridge to jump off, or a handy gun to slip into my mouth to end it all.

...

Not!

Seriously, my life just got more complicated. I can say goodbye to graduating this October. I hope my mother doesn't kick me out of the house. I hope my dad doesn't order me out of the house. My father in particular seems to be averse to funding my studies any further. I can't handle a part-time job - I wouldn't have time for my research then.

I don't know what to do now.

Again I curse my inability to read hiragana and kanji. Basically, the illustration above is a cup size comparison line-up, from biggest to smallest, left to right. As a friend pointed out over the phone, without ever seeing the image above, the 'contestants' are people NOT from the first SRW Alpha. For the benefit of others, they are (from left to right): Lamia (SRW Advance), Seolla (SRW Alpha 2), Excellen (SRW Impact), Ouka (SRW Original Generation 2), Ivis (SRW Alpha 2), Latouny (SRW Original Generation), and Alfimy (SRW Impact).

The advent of SRW J comes as a little letdown to me, as Banpresto has announced that it will be their last title for Gameboy Advance. As a balm for offended sensibilities, SRW J features bouncing female cut-ins for the main robots' subpilots (which would irritate more narrow sensibilities).

The above is a screencap of the SRW J TV commercial. It's actually two blocks of 3 screens wide and two screens high. The bouncing originals are on the lower left screen of the top block, and the bottom corner screens of the lower block. Yes, folks, Banpresto carries on the proud tradition of using 17-year old schoolgirls as fanservice / robot pilots. Oh, and if you're interested in what the other screens are, here's a map.

TOP BLOCK, left to right, top row first: Athrun and Kira from Gundam SEED (possibly during an in-game series reference battle), Domon Kasshu of G Gundam (performing a Double God Finger, his partner not shown), Double Burning Fire performed using Mazinkaiser and Great Mazinger, Katia (Banpresto Original subpilot), an army of Bonta-kun assault suits led by Sousuke Sagara (Full Metal Panic? Fumoffu), and Tekkaman Blade posing before laying the smackdown.

BOTTOM BLOCK: Don't know who or what this first frame is from, will research; next to it is Misumaru Yurika, captain of the Mobile Battleship Nadesico, Kira Yamato going into SEED mode, Festenia (Banpresto Original subpilot), Coustwell (Banpresto Original mecha), and Merua (Banpresto Original subpilot).

I'll say it again, because I like saying it, those 17-y.o. girls bounce.

I may have it bad right now, but I must remember these things that I must be thankful I have, got, or am getting, or simply am.

I'm still alive.
Three meals a day.
I have parents who still love each other even after 28 years.
I have a loving girlfriend.
I can read and write, do simple to moderately complex arithmetic, and I have manners.
I'm not living on the streets, begging for money or food.

When this fails to cheer me up, there's always onemorelevel.com. Contains Flash games that simply brighten your day.

This has not been a paid advertisement of onemorelevel.com